I have been here before. Praying for a baby. Trying to get pregnant. With each cycle ending in a negative pregnancy test. This is a soul crushing experience that is very slow and very painful. Like I said, I have been here before. Not only am I experiencing more, but I am also remembering what I have gone through. Infertility takes its toll on the body and mind. It is a pit of despair that can be extremely difficult to climb out of. When I went through it before, my soul felt very similiar to Joseph Smith's anguish in Liberty Jail. "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?" Doctrine and Covenants 121:1 It felt like God was ignoring me and left me alone to suffer. It was a dark and depressing time. Now, I feel those feelings coming back. I know what it feels like to be in this pit. Since I have been here before, I also know how I got out of that pit last time. Having a baby helped, but it wasn't what got me out of the pit. Lament...
This week the study skill I used in the assigned reading was symbolism. Which ended up being a great skill for these verses: Isaiah 54: 2-4 which says, "Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations; spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes; For thou shalt break forth on the right hand and on the left; and thy see shall inherit the Gentiles, and make the desolate cities to be inhabited. Fear not, for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more." What Tyler got from this was very different than what I learned. That is because we were being taught two different things, that is the beauty of symbolism. Two people can be reading the same thing and learn two totally different things. For me, I learned that it is important to strengthen and open our homes. So, a...