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Opposition In All Things

Sam asked me the other morning, "Mom, is it hard being a parent?" 

Before I had my boys, I was struggling with grief and infertility, I remember thinking that I wanted the hard moments of parenthood. I wanted the all-nights with a crying baby. I wanted the frustration. I wanted the headaches. I wanted all of it, all the bad; because that means I'd have the good. That would mean that I'd have children that I would be raising. I wanted the hard, because I know I'd get to enjoy the good.

On the flip side, I have been fortunate to experience the beautiful moments of motherhood. Having a baby fall asleep on your chest. Watching them smile when they see your face. Feeling your child calm down when you hold them. Seeing them read their first words. Watching them grow into their own person. Being a mother is truly the most incredible experience I will ever have.

When I look back on the good and bad moments of motherhood/parenthood I see how important opposition is. I would not cherish the good moments as much as I do if I did not have the bad moments. We can't have one without the other. How could we have good without bad? If we didn't have bad, then we'd have no idea how good, good was. We would have no opposite to compare it to. I have to remind myself of this often. I am one who wants everything to run smoothly. I want things to be good, easy, and smooth. But life doesn't work that way, it can't. 

I've had to deal with several medical issues this year. Nothing terribly serious, but enough that it has affected my year. I had severe shin splints at the beginning of this year (due to my severely flat feet), a nosebleed that took me to the ER in the middle of the night, I developed BPPV and had to go to physical therapy, multiple ear infections, other things, and many doctors appointments. I'm ready for the new year that I still have to wait three months for. Like I said nothing was terribly serious, but it has felt like all year there has been one bad thing after another. I'll admit I've had a hard time seeing the good things that have happened this year. 

As I think about all these frustrating and annoying things I am reminded of this scripture. 2 Nephi 2: 11 "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so...righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad..." 

Without bad days, there can't be good days. Without bad years, there can't be good years. Without bad times, there can't be good times. As tiring and depressing as the bad times are they help us to enjoy the good times all the more. There was a time when I longed for the bad days and nights. As crazy as that sounds, I wanted them. I ached for the hard times of parenthood just so I could have the good times as well. How are the hard times in life any different? They aren't. As crazy as it sounds, the bad times in life should be thoroughly experienced. We should allow ourselves to embrace our feelings during our hard moments. Don't let them stay forever, but let yourself feel them. So. Then you can better enjoy the good times that are ahead. I have no guarantees that next year will be a better year, but I'm going to try harder to embrace every moment - good and bad.

This was my answer to Sam's question, "Yes, but it is worth it." 

We continued discussing how as he and Aaron have gotten older some things have gotten easier, but other things have gotten harder. Overall, parenting is hard; but oh so worth it. I then gave both boys a hug and told them that I am very grateful to be their mother. They are amazing and sweet boys.

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